The leaves are falling, the air is crisp, and ridiculous sexy costumes have hit store shelves. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays and my annual roundup of the worst sexy Halloween costumes is one of my favorite posts!
With Pokemon Go sweeping the planet, you knew sexy Pokemon costumes were coming. My personal favorite has to be the sexy Bulbasaur because the source material is so far from sexy.
Regardless of your political leanings, we have all witnessed a historic moment with our first female presidential candidate from a major party. So isn’t it great to see that historic moment reduced to a sexy pantsuit costume?
I feel like I’ve called a costume the least sexy thing I’ve ever seen in year’s past. But this one has got to take the cake. What is less sexy than a literal pile of crap? I think we can officially call emoji merchandise dead.
The best part of this sexy pilgrim costume is that it serves double duty as a festive Thanksgiving dinner costume. After all, we know the pilgrims journeyed to the new world to escape religious persecution and restrictive clothing. Bonus: no one is going to think to argue about the presidential race or gun control when you show up looking like this.
To be fair, this costume isn’t nearly as gregarious as the others. I just can’t understand why you would simultaneously dress as Smurfette, but also put her face on the dress. Why would Smurfette wear her own image on a dress? It’s Smurfette inception.
I’m imagining a packed conference room and a boss insisting his staff sexify three new animals for the 2016 holiday season. And facing no lunch until they produce, they came up with:
Sexy Orca. Because what woman doesn’t like to be called a whale?
Sexy goldfish. Because mermaids have been dominating the sexy scales for far too long.
Sexy penguin. When I think of penguins I don’t think sexy. I think of that GIF of one fat penguin pushing the other fat penguin down on the ice.
And finally we’re going to revisit a class theme – taking a classic children’s character and make it “sexy”. I’ve got a whole lot of problems with this sexy Dumbo number. Not least of which is the placement of that big top tent.
Have you seen any Halloween costumes even more ridiculous than these this year?
Check out my previous year’s lists as well as a face-off between Pug and Sexy Costumes: